How To Find The Best Therapist For You
By: Annie Seiler
Instagram: @annie_seiler
The process of finding a good therapist can be overwhelming. You finally find the courage in the depths of your heart to get help, be vulnerable with sharing your struggles, and yet, there are still many steps that lie ahead. “How do I find a therapist? How do I know we will be a good fit? What if I don’t like them?” The many questions that fill your brain can feel paralyzing and might just stop you in your tracks from making one of the most important and rewarding decisions of your life- seeking help.
Unlike your favorite hair stylist, referrals for therapy are not usually appropriate! The most beneficial resource I have found for finding a therapist is Psychology Today. Psychology Today allows you to filter therapists by zip code, treatment approach, insurance, specialities, and so many more. Each therapist has a full biography that allows you to read about them, their interests, and who they are as a person. I have found two incredible therapists using this resource! Once you read about a few people that might seem like a good fit, reaching out to them is a great next step (and a vulnerable one that I honor so deeply). Whether you reach out to them via email or phone is up to you, but I have found that hearing their voice and getting to chat with them on the phone has allowed me to get a feel for their personality and feel a little more connected prior to making the appointment.
The most important thing to know when going through the process of finding a good therapist is that it may take you a few different therapists before you find the right fit! Please don’t give up! If you have a bad experience or many bad experiences, I encourage you to continue seeking. Sometimes it takes knowing what you really DON’T want in a therapist, to know what you really DO want! Another concern I have found myself feeling before is the fear of telling a therapist you don’t think you would make a good fit. Whew- it feels scary, but most therapists know that they can’t be the right person for everyone. What makes them the best therapist in the world for one person, may not be what someone else is looking for. Also, always know you reserve the right to change your mind about a therapist as you grow and evolve as a human. Sometimes we need different approaches at different points in our lives.
Once you have found a therapist that feels like a good fit, here a few other tips that I have found helpful in my experience with therapy:
Always ask for what you need! If you are someone that just needs an open space to talk and get some heavy stuff off of your chest, tell them! If you are someone that wants lots of feedback and conversation, tell them! Therapists are there to support your concerns and the experience you are looking for.
You have nothing to prove. I have spent many sessions with my defenses high and with many anxious thoughts that I had to prove something- that I’ve made progress, used a skill they’ve taught me, been able to get through anxious situations that I wasn’t able to previously. While all of these things are incredible, it is okay to fully let your guard down and let your raw, true self show- the good, the bad, the ugly. You get to feel how you feel with no expectations.
Allow yourself some time after sessions to relax! Give yourself the space to feel what you are feeling, journal or nap if you need, or literally anything in between! I have found that I get the most out of my sessions when I allow myself the time to just be.
You are never alone. Read that again. You are NEVER alone in this.
If you have any questions or want to have a deeper conversation about this, I am always open to chat.