The following insights and strategies are gleaned from my decades-long experience with depression; however, they can only be of value if you recognize that you are currently grappling with depression. If you are reading this, chances are you find yourself in the same emotional abyss that I once navigated. Alternatively, you may know someone who is currently in the throes of depression. Acknowledging this condition constitutes a significant step. Seeking professional help is an even more substantial stride, and realizing that this is not your fault is perhaps the most significant realization of all. Understand that not everyone is fortunate enough to possess a harmonious internal chemistry; in fact, the majority of us do not.

Let’s talk about grief. You are not alone. Your grief is valid, and while it may be endless… as grief is… we grow around our trauma and pain, which help to shape all the things that make us uniquely us… as grief does. Grief is hard for us all, but we don’t need to suffer alone or in silence. We need to Suffer Out Loud!

Being on the other side of an emotionally tumultuous young adulthood, I still find so much value in sharing my story as a way to connect with my younger self. As a pre-teen, the first signs of something being wrong began to stir up at the same time my dad went to Afghanistan. He’s not a veteran, but he was in combat zones working daily in volatile conditions. You can imagine the stress that put on my mother, alone with three teenagers.

I drank alcohol from the time I was 13 to make friends, to cope with stress and anxiety, and to bury my feelings surrounding my life. It was “never a problem” until I finally realized that it for sure had been a problem all along. A few years back when I got sober the first time, my world got turned upside down around my 10 month mark.

I try not to put too much weight onto new year transitions. I figure, if nothing else, New Year’s Eve is a nice opportunity to spend some quality, late night time with my husband, sometimes my mama, and/or some of my best friends. If nothing else, I am guaranteed to start my new year with a kiss from my person, and a great big HAPPY NEW YEAR howl shared with the woman who raised me while we all bang on a few pots and pans in a small parade through our neighborhood streets. Then I wake up the next day and it’s a new year…. But, the same old me. 

My reason for sharing my story publicly after so many years is because of a girl from my hometown who shared her story with me about going through an ectopic pregnancy–something I knew nothing about but would also later experience. Ectopic pregnancies can be deadly without outside help and I would have NEVER thought mine was ectopic if I hadn’t read her story. Her vulnerability and openness may have saved my life. Therefore, I am sharing my story in hopes of shining light onto someone who might currently feel there is none at the end of their tunnel.